Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Time for new friends or no friends?

YEP!!! Losing weight is isolating. We have to put so much focus everyday, every hour on re-programming ourselves so if we can prevent outside forces from interfering with that focus we sure do avoid people.

I've recently noticed that I don't like the people in my life that much since I've been changing. I also find I took too much comfort in other people's problems so now it seems I am best friends with a bunch of whiners and complainers. Oh I am the first to want to rescue someone but.. it seems these people do NOTHING else but complain to me about every little thing!!!

Having said that, I do know that I MUST get out and create some new friends, people who are like me, not the way I was. People who have changed themselves and know the hardship of losing weight and mostly those who bravely want to face a new life as a normal sized person.

I will never be cured of my eating disorder, I see that now that I've been fighting with food for over 40 years. Yes I managed to keep my weight off for over 20years but then at the rate of about 8 pounds a year I managed to gain 60+ pounds...still unbelievable to me how that happened, but it did.
I also became more and more reclusive, was embarrassed by the way I looked and didn't feel I fit in. I also didn't want to hang out with overweight people because it was also too horrible to know I was just like them and the one thing I have learned is the overweight people are a million times more critical of body size than thin people. Oh thin people are critical, but not as much as those of us that need to lose.

The catch in all this is we need to be social, we need to get into life and interact with people. We need to enjoy and dance and sing and mostly have a ball with our delicious sense of humor!!! Sure we can laugh and whoop it up here on our computers but what happens in our other world?

We are in a war with our old selves and even when we win the next day is a new battle. Every day we need to sharpen our weight loss tools, hone our skills and go forward into battle with that slippery slope that can slide us right back to where we just do not want to be. So not only do we have to be alert when we are alone we also need to be on guard of the "social life" that is full of the food and people that will make us lose the battle.

It's now time to clean house of the people who are really no good for me. This will be tough! If I was an addict I couldn't spend every day with people who are doing drugs right in front of me...the same goes for these Emotional Wrecks in my life. I am going for emotional good health and will have to leave a few people behind so that I can survive. I am not selfish, I just need to let go of the comfort I have knowing that these people NEED me as long as I listen to them whine. Who knows maybe I will be doing them a favor.

I am going to try to rebuild a new social life and have lots of ideas how to do it.


  1. this post is soooooo true
    i am so busy workoing out half the time i dont talk to anyone and when i do it seems like all thye do is complain
    my one friend is like 270 pounds now and complains to me about her health problem when i tell her its hard but you can change your life obviously cuz i have 80 pounds plus gone she just say i cant im so exhausted ive been there and tried to help for a month or so now i am done listening to it

    when you work so hard on yourself you dont want ot surround youself with people that do nothing for them selves

  2. Having supportive friends has been key to my success. First my husband has been behind me 100% and I've even motivated him ... Second, I made the choice to share my journey with my Facebook family and friends and have been so motivated by the positive feedback I'm getting from my status updates and before and after photos that I've posted. And again, I'm motivating other friends to get started. Lastly, I've broken out of my shyness and befriended some women from the Zumba class I go to five days a week and it has been so awesome to be friends with them at class and on FB - to have that network of friends that are just as obsessed about working out/losing weight as I am - it makes SUCH a huge difference.

  3. Thank you for your comments. Getting like-minded people who share such an important goal with me is such an obvious necessity to me now, amazing how long it can take to wake-up to some things that require minimum common sense.

    I am a lucky one too, I have the most amazing husband, he never complained when I gained the weight...but is praising me for losing it.

  4. You amaze me more and more each day!!! I have always surrounded myself with people like the me inside!!! In other words, Fit happy healthy people!!! it is my hope to one day be the person on the outside that is kicking arse on the inside!!! I love how you reach out to others to let them learn from your mistakes!!! i don't think you will have any problems finding new friends!!!
    Love ya lots!!!
    Dr. Mo @FitInMyHeart

  5. You will find that as you lose your "associates" will come back into your life. They will want to know the "secret" and will swear that you took something to reach your goals. These people are the ones that let you know that you look great but behind your back will say that you couldn't have lost weight oNLY by making sensible choices. Just feel sorry for the people that can't support the new you. Let's face it- you look great and that makes them not feel so great about themselves. Keep up the good work. I myself have lost a great deal of weight and continue to lose. Check out my blog sometime if you get a chance.